The Sea

“Nothing is so boundless as the sea, nothing so patient. On its broad back it bears, like a good natured elephant, the tiny mannikins which tread the earth; and in its wast cool depths it has place for all mortal woes. It is not true that the sea is faithless, for it has never promised anything; without claim, without obligation, free, pure, and genuine beats the mighty heart, the last sound one in an ailing world. And while the mannikins strain their eyes over it, the sea sings its old song. Many understands it scarce at all, but never two understand it in the same manner, for the sea has a distinct word for each one that sets himself face to face with it.

It smiles with green shining ripples to the barelegged urchin who catches crabs; it breaks in blue billows against the ship, and sends the fresh salt spray far in over the deck. Heavy leaden seas come rolling in on the beach, and while the weary eye follows the long hoary breakers, the stripes of foam wash up in sparkling curves over the even sand; and in the hollow sound, when the billows roll over for the last time, there is something of a hidden understanding – each thinks on his own life, and bows his head towards the ocean as if it were a friend who knows it all and keeps it fast.

But what the sea is for those who live along its strand none can ever know, for they say nothing. They live all their life with face turned to the ocean; the sea is their companion, their adviser, their friend and their enemy, their inheritance and their churchyard. The relation therefore remains a silent one, and the look which gazes over the sea changes with its varying aspect, now comforting, now half fearful and defiant. But take one of these shore-dwellers, and move him far landward among the mountains, into the loveliest valley you can find; give him the best food, and the softest bed. He will not touch your food or sleep in your bed, but without turning his head he will clamber from hill to hill, until far off his eye catches something blue he knows, and with swelling heart he gazes toward the little azure streak that shines far away, until it grows into a blue glittering horizon; but he says nothing.”

From “Garman & Worse” (1880), by norwegian writer Aleksander Kielland

Heading for the sea, the small japanese car with its dangling decorations rattling and glittering in the warm sun, just to underline the amazing weather. My lovely japanese friend shifting gears smoothly, and makes jokes about the vast amount of traffic lights in Japan as the billboards and flashing commercials rushes by, fighting a desperate battle for our attention. Their sounds are only exceeded by their colors.

After a while the city traffic lights makes way for the highway, and the highway makes way for a slow change into countryside. We take several wrong turns among the fields, trees, hills and overgrown old houses, but as the time turns its pace slowly outside the city, it did not matter. We stop to ask three ladies standing together for a corner chat by the side of the road, old as the hills the grandmothers points with an enthusiasm and energy in deep contrast to their sunken eyes, their headscarves, loose flowery pants and hunched backs. My smile lingers in my face for a long time after the grandmothers disappearance from the rear view mirror.

Im in my last week in my japanese home town: Fukuoka, and maybe because of that, or just because the silence and calmness of nature made my emotions capable of my minds pace, the impressions of these lonely old houses, each one on the end of its own road as if to make a point, had a quite strong impression on me. Inside my head during that car ride, in my mind I was picking out different houses and imagining myself living there, watching the world turn and feeling it rotate under my comfortable chair, closing my eyes and pretending the planet to be my own personal roller-coaster. Hearing my fantasies about living in the japanese countryside my friend laughed and said I would probably be quickly bored. Bored: what a thrilling thought. A modern luxury, an erotic dream; oh to be bored and what adventures the prospect of boredom could bring into existence! What possibilities of creation would unfold themselves to me on that chair in the countryside while contemplating the turnings of the world; a novel, a painting, a vegetable garden, a peaceful mind-revolution or an apple cake for the neighbor? My future imaginations made my mind reach new heights only exceeded by what was awaiting at our trips destination.

As the creamy colored small car makes a turn, a bend in the road and a change in the wind, and the glittering blue horizon comes into view, so clear, sharp and crisp as though the sea itself was created in the moment we appeared from between the green trees. The water is glittering a welcome to the sunbeams, and disappears into a white blue horizon where the border between the earth and the sky is remained a secret well kept from the small humans gazing out from the shore. As we climb out on the bare rocks reaching with trembling stones towards the great sea, the waves crush, roll and draws back from under me, and I am home. It is evident that when the human race created the Tower of Babel, in Gods punishment the sea was forgotten: for while the human language and tradition was separated, God left the sea unchanged, and standing there in the chill salt breeze I learned that whatever culture, religion, geography or origin: the language of the sea remains the same. In its wild untamed nature there is a deep comfort in the fact that it stays wild and untamed. I was a traveller that, after a long eventful journey suddenly finds herself at roads end, when you hit the sea you cannot go further, you stop, you experience this moment of end, change and beginning, and make a sigh before you turn your back to the horizon and start your journey in another direction; until you at one point in near or far future reach a different shore, but reunite with the same old friend, the same fresh smell, the same sound of the seagulls cry in the strong wind: the same Sea.

Fukuoka Love Warriors

Soundtrack: Svenska Akademien – “Kärlekskrigare”

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It is evening in Fukuoka, Japan, and the sounds of naked feet lightly touching the stairs on the way up to the dojo is filling the atmosphere. The halls are narrow but the chain of people going in and out never bumps into one another during their rustling and bowing followed by a “konbanwa” and the gentle sound of the japanese sliding doors.

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Entering the dojo I sit down by the entrance in seiza posture and look up to the picture of the founder of aikido on the wall. For a brief moment stages of thankfulness fills me up like silent cool water in a cup, as I press my hands against the tatami. First the left, then the right, then bow. As I turn to the people already present in the dojo, I see they are already turned, waiting for the bow that will recognize me as participant in the class, another white gi, another blank sheet of paper, another stranger yet another friend. The bows are serious but the smiles are not, as we all return to soft chatting as we await the approach of yet another bow at the entrance.

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As sensei enters the mood shifts slightly, but recognizingly for a newcomer. The energy level rises in and between the people, as though the room itself suddenly remembers that the people are coming for the practice and not for a cup of tea. The sounds of the movements and rustlings of the black hakamas increase, the smiles grow wider and the bows go deeper. As time collects itself, the white and black figures line up, ready to start the training by synchronizing our bows, thereby synchronizing our minds, hearts and bodies in good thought, and in a good practice. The always repeated warm up exercises turns after a while into dynamic meditation, and will at some point make you remember to breathe, a skill often temporarily forgotten during the day.

A smell of incense fills the room, which makes the impression of participating in a ritual even stronger, and in a way that is difficult to explain increase your focus of mind. The training continues with various techniques, though the names of them may repeat themselves from one training to the next, the forms and execution are ever changing. Which always makes you feel new and leads you to be open. I hear groans, deep breaths and tappings on the floor by a figure pressed against the ground in a tight armlock. The tatami mats are as hard as a winter morning, and being thrown down on those mats you get bruised right down to your soul. My knees are as pretty as the central streets of Oslo on an early sunday morning, luckily they match my spring dress with blue flowers.

The room has gotten hot now, and as we sit down for the final technique, sweat is running down my neck and I somehow managed to stop focusing on my attacker and made myself the center which the technique spirals around. Then the technique stops working, my partners arms are like unbendable branches of an old tree, I breathe, and the tree is pulled up by the roots. We fall, roll and come back up again. As we love, loose our way, then love again. In so many ways love is more a series of acts than a state of mind.

With heavy breaths and light hearts we sit down in lines while sensei tells us to straighten our back, breathe through our stomachs and calm our minds. The bows barely finish before everyone stands up quickly and runs to the cupboard with the brooms and washing equipment as a most important part of the training starts: the cleaning of the Dojo. The people standing left without brooms quickly recover themselves and out of nowhere suddenly there is both bucket, water and willing hands. The mind is swept free of its self awareness and the body remembers its existence while scrubbing the floor with old rags and cold water. Nobody stops until everyone is finished, the rags, the bucket and the brooms disappear, while the glowing eyes search the landscape for aikido after-practice play-partners. Someone lays down a big mat on the tatami, followed by a smoking hot tea pot, small tea cups and a box of traditional japanese sweets. The smell of green tea rises, the windows are slided open for the fresh chill evening air, and some are seated together with sensei drinking tea and watching the world unfold itself in incomplete aikido techniques. Mistakes repeated and repeated again just so we can again remember they are mistakes. A deep slow breath out, a mild surprise, a light mind, hands and feet heavy, a falling body and a rising heart.

Everytime I journey home from the Dojo on my rusty old noisy bicycle, the world is always a different one. Maybe I am changing to fit the world, but on my road home in the spring night air, among the lights of neon signs and red japanese lanterns swaying in the light breeze, I swear I feel the world is changing to fit me.

ありがとうございました

Sarariman

Soundtrack: The Jayhawks – “Save it for a Rainy Day”

In lack of recent blog entries, it´s just I have too much to write about to actually sit down and write it, you can enjoy this photo. Taken by me on my way home from fieldwork here the other day, pretending to change songs on the iPod. At one point the guy to the right kept nodding his head down on the left ones shoulder. I sat waiting, holding my breath in anticipation for the moment he would be sleeping on the strangers shoulder. It never happened. But it made the train ride for me. Gotta feel for the tired japanese sararimen on their way home from work. Small nice moments people, small nice moments.

Soon coming: update on my martial arts adventures in Fukuoka. Keep on loving!

- J <3

J & J in J

Soundtrack: Air – “Cherry Blossom Girl”

Loneliness. A big part of being away from home, from friends, from family, from conversations that exceeds talking about the weather. The joy of meeting a familiar face by accident on the street has never been further away from the daily life, and is painfully missed. In the japanese distanced and friendly communication, hugs are as rare as sarcasm. One rainy march evening J takes a 12 hour long bus ride. To meet the beloved 赤, and to get a long needed hug.

In the morning J came off the bus, location Nagoya. At that point two norwegian foreigners rejoice in the opportunity to talk without constantly worrying about whether or not to apply japanese te-form endings on verbs, about shit, sometimes in loud and excited voices, sometimes in hushed and soft voices, about something the japanese businessman sitting on the corner next to us would never understand. Even if he knew the language. In a misty rainy japanese spring two hungry lost souls find peace in the simple pleasure of chatting.

After consuming matters of conversation as lions tear the flesh off a long missed meal, we were meeting a man, a friendly stranger, who two adventurous ones were invited to stay for the weekend. A chocolate cake sent from God himself later we were on our way. To castles, to japanese gardens, to hot springs, café´s hidden deep in the woods, to the japanese secrets of mattcha and origami making. To sleeping on the japanese tatami mats in a room filled with temple incense, an overwhelming and golden buddhist altar and the presence of generations of japanese ancestral spirits. Through the mysterious turns and twists and incomprehensible beauty of the old small Kyoto roads, filled with paper lamps in the night, their lights carried away by the warm spring wind.

The castle grounds are filled with sakura and plum trees, most of the buds are still curled up, snoozing and waiting for still another lovecall from a sunbeam. Others open their hearts to the still chilly and misty world, knowing how to make the most of their short stay in the flashlights of our cameras. Their pink and white presence make a contrast to the grey rainy day, and let the rain shine in scarlet and silver. Together with the golden castle they make such a strong impression as to make a girl forget the rain, their grey thoughts and speedy shadows.

The people in the Kyoto streets are bathing in the light festival wonders of the seasons, and their faces seems as much filled with childish openness, curiousness and reflections of beauty as our strange blue-eyed and freckled faces. In these streets everyone are strangers and everyone are foreigners, travelers to a different sense of time and a pause from the age of rushing suits and hearts forgotten on abandoned train seats. As our feet takes us down spirals of streets, together with our most admirable japanese hosts, at once we feel at home, and though every face is that of a stranger, we can feel the smiles they hide in their hearts, smiles somehow not anymore out of reach.

The most precious of moments is not the one of japanese big powerful or colorful wonders. It is the ones of familiarness, trust and intimacy. When, on our car ride home, two norwegian girls fall asleep in the backseat, filled with japanese candy and the japanese relaxed chatter of our new japanese mother and father in the front. When the mother asks if we are hungry, and when the father asks if we are tired and whether we want to go home. The deep care shows in the smiles, and is so much more precious for a new foreigner.

After Js meeting of 赤s Nagoya host family, staying there with three, four, five cats, we spent our last days filling up colorful shopping bags and emptying our already anorectic wallets, but all the more happy nonetheless. We made friends with our hairdressers, and a clapping screaming happy gay store attendant. We drank umeshu from the carton and made green russians. And we laughed, in norwegian.

 Miss you J

This is a J and J cooperation, visit 赤 here.

Curls and Rice and Everything Nice

Soundtrack: Arashi – “Love so Sweet”

Times, updates, minds and blogs do not always cooperate, and sometimes we world wide web dwellers disappear into that something called “the real world” out there. Leaving the constant floating timeless digital chaos and entering the ever beating pulsating rhythm that is called life by some. Sometimes I wonder if we even existed before the internet. I don´t know about you but my facebook “timeline” does not date further back than 2007. Whatever happened before then I cannot tell. Anyway I will make up for it by telling you two stories today.

It was some time ago that two ladies from the local UNESCO office came visiting me at the clinic where I am conducting anthropological fieldwork. They came to watch a movie about Norway, witch is believe it or not often screened for the patients after my arrival. Anyway they invited me to some sort of brazilian day at the UNESCO center. And since I always say yes to things, well, I said yes. So the next sunday I woke early in the morning to join the “brazilian something” and started on the 1,5 hour long combined train – bicycle ride to whatever it was I had said yes to. I was grumpy, tired and a little angry at myself for saying yes to everything. After roaming confused around in some sort of local city hall looking for something colorful, noisy and brazilian, I at last found what I did not know I was searching for: a brazilian cooking class.

If I was a little grumpy before, now I was even more grumpy; and a grumpy vegetarian no less. I seriously considered calling the whole thing off and hit the bike on the long way home, defeated by misunderstandings and my endless rows of yes replies. But I was just to grumpy and stubborn, and did not want to come all this way and missing morning aikido class for nothing, so I volunteered to cut the vegetables in a landscape of local strangers with loud voices and creative cooking aprons and head scarfs. While the grumpy vegetarian cut up the green peppers and cursed her fate of participating in making something brown, meaty and muddy brazilian dish, I came in conversation with a young high school student signed up for the class. What 20 year old girl sign up for a brazilian cooking class at 10 a.m. on a sunday morning, I thought, and put her in the “mentally disturbed” or “crazy religious family” categorized box inside my head. But then she was just so damn nice to me, and at some point the old witch started to soften, okay I´ll just eat some rice I thought, rice and chocolate. Then she totally finished me off by looking shyly up to me with a smile and ask “do you have a boooyfriend?”. The chocolate in my little pan started to warm up, melt, bubble, smoke and giving in to its fate of becoming cute and colorful dessert confects, as did my heart. I ended up giving in, my hands and heart full of melted chocolate and mind full of colorful candy sprinkles. I had a lovely day, made some new friends and ate some, well, rice and chocolate.

There is more. Weekdays come and they leave faster, and at a point you come to your senses and escape into the exile the weekend offers. It was friday, and usually friday-morning-blues is easily cured by friday morning aikido classes. This time the blues lingered in my mind like some fugitive that by no cost is willing to travel back to that war-torn country. After finishing the day´s writing work and coming home, I decided all suddenly to take blues and matters into my own hands. Or rather, into the matter of a local hairdresser. Yes, ladies and gentlemen: I got a perm. With the blues all curled out of my head I strolled down the road home from todays spiritual awakening at the hair salon. Along the road I noticed something written on a tiny sign outside a small bar down one of the side streets which read “coffee, bourbon and jazz”. Like a disciple discovering the holy trinity there was never any hesitation in my turn down that street and up those steps.

The lights are low, the jazz is high and the blues is leveled with the floor and will never reach a girl on high heels. I instantly made friends with the groovy japanese grandmother-bartender, with a hoarse voice, funky hat and suspicious glasses. No wonder, we were only two people there on a friday night. The language barrier never rose to problems, and I took out my thick Tolstoy, lit up a cigarette and ordered a Kirin Lager followed by the bartenders recommendation of japanese whisky. What can I say? Tonights playing jazz band showed up, after their performance we made good friends; after all the band number was the double of the audience, the pianist I found out is my neighbor and I got a free shandy from the bartender. And when I looked in the bathroom mirror I discovered to my surprise that I had curls. After promising to come to the bands next gig I left my new favorite spot, a little tipsy and very happy, but who said the night was over? Summer called me on my way home, she has been working non stop the whole week and was desperate for karaoke. I will render no good friend alone with karaoke abstinences, so we jumped on the bicycles and the night was filled with bad whisky, criminally good ice cream and wondrous J-Pop.

The moral is self evident. Say yes.

By Bicycle Elevator to the Traintracks

Worth listening to today: TImbuktu – Flickan och Kråkan

Everyday hits you on exactly the same time as the rain hits you on your way to todays fieldwork, riding a bicycle. I start walking with my umbrella and my bicycle. At some point an old man swiftly passes me riding on his bicycle holding his umbrella, he is the connection between the umbrella and his bicycle and is the center of the universe. My first thought was: I can also do that. Hopping onto by red little bicycle, holding umbrella in my right hand, steering with my left, I am again my center in the universe. Between the bicycle and the umbrella, between the earth and the sky, we hold the secret key to balance, me and that old japanese man. Whether I am riding the bicycle or the umbrella is uncertain. The wind is quarrelsome today as I try to keep my new floral handbag dry, cause it is full of chocolate hearts for the patients at the clinic. But nothing makes the reality of the coming of summer more clear than the smell of fresh rain on dusty cold roads. We are so lucky to have everyday, and we are so lucky to have good music to deal with it. I miss my guitar.

Drick lagom.

- J

♥ Jazzy Valentine Weekend

Soundtrack: Frank Sinatra / Tony Bennet & Lady Gaga  - “The Lady is a Tramp”                                                                                             

Back to Fukuoka, Japan. Classic dress, a fresh new floral scarf, pink blush, about a little too much facepowder and finish off with a soft spray of gucci. We are ready for a very important tradition in japanese culture: the valentine celebrations.

The nights hot spot was hotel “With the Style”. Please notice the interesting use of the in the name of the hotel. We are not talking with style, mind you. Lined up outside this gorgeous place was trendy japanese youth dressed in intense red colors for the occasion, chill chinese businessmen, funky young japanese guys in checked shirts and hip n nerdy glasses looking for the adventurous young foreigners with their loud voices, big movements and exiting stories.

Entering valentine wonderland we were served a glass of, thats right, Moët & Chandon. With bubbles in our glasses and smiles in our hearts we entered a landscape of shallow pools with small islands of tall bamboo trees highlighted with small fires, making a flickering lightshow over the green leaves and blue water. The music is western with a muffed ladies voice and a soft beat, and a there is a charming young gentleman at the corner selling cigars. The white-dressed waiters are floating around tables with plates of green tea macarons, a big gingerbread house and ooh, a huge chocolate fountain.

Sitting innocently together with my japanese roommate Summer having a cigarette and chatting quietly about tonights atmosphere, a young asian woman with intense eyes covered by enormous baby-pink hipster-style glasses leans over to me, lays her arm gently behind my back and asks with a smile playing on her face: “sooh.. what are you doing here all alone, talking to a young japanese girl?”. After a couple of glasses moët that can happen to anyone right?

Second floor funky jazz lounge with matching bartenders and merciless table-reservations. We rudely occupied a front-stage table and were rewarded by the grooviest hottest japanese jazz band Fukuoka Joe. In spite of the trumpet-player´s not so successful attempt at beat-boxing they made a wonderful performance, and finished off with a lively version of “the lady is a tramp”. Wild applause from my part.

While the people left the bartenders and chefs all alone in luxury fairyland, me and summer left for karaoke. We smuggled in some candy, ordered some whisky, tacoyaki and umeboshi, and got our own litte private karaoke room. As experienced before, japanese karaoke is not always up to date with the latest hits and again I found myself pouring out the wonders of the world accompanied by Abba, Beatles, Eric Clapton or Vengaboys. Yeah thats right. In the end I sang, all drunk and happy, until 6 a.m. in the morning, with Summer sleeping on the couch beside me. So right now Im a bit shaky and my voice sounds like a crossing of Janice Joplin and Bonnie Tyler.

Happy valentine, you are all gorgeous ♥

- J

Pictures from FukuokaNow. Cuz I left my camera.